WHAT IF????

WHAT IF???
I joke around a lot about the "negative committee" that meets in my head occasionally, but some days.....it's NOT a joke!

I have been focusing WAY too much on "what ifs?" lately.
As I have said before, I've been a little stressed over not having a job, especially with the layoffs at Ray's work....Christmas coming up, etc. In addition to the money though, I've been having a hard time adjusting to being at home alone so much! Being alone a lot gives me WAY too much time to wander around thinking....WHAT IF????
WHAT IF Ray gets laid off?
WHAT IF I don't find another job?
WHAT IF someone gets sick?
WHAT IF one of the kids needs something and we can't afford it?

And then there are the running related WHAT IFS......
WHAT IF I plan my next marathon and then can't afford to go wherever it is?
WHAT IF I start training and my asthma acts up?
WHAT IF my knee gets worse?

And of course there are those relationship WHAT IFS.....
WHAT IF being so stressed hurts my marriage?
WHAT IF there is a problem with the kids?
WHAT IF I really AM like the old used car that the moron of a doctor called me?
WHAT IF....WHAT IF.....

After a morning filled with these WHAT IFS, I kept trying to make myself get out the door for a run. I looked around the house and thought.....Wow, it's pretty late and the house needs a lot of work....WHAT IF I take the time to go out for my run and Ray and the kids get home and the house is still a mess?? Ummm....Yeah, because THAT has NEVER happened before??? Like THEY CARE??!!! OMG, I can't believe how NEGATIVE I can let myself become some times!

After arguing for awhile with that "negative committee".....I decided that no matter WHAT happened, I was going out for a run!

I decided that instead of going on any planned route that I would just head out the door and just RUN! No music and NO.WHAT. IFS!! Instead, I was going to think about all of my many blessings.... all of the things I have to be thankful for!

The first thing that came into my head was the fact that if ANY of those bad WHAT IFS came to be.....I would have my family by my side! As I was thinking of all of the wonderful reasons that I have to smile everyday.....I was also remembering bits of some Bible verses that I've read about worry, and although I couldn't remember them exactly....I remembered enough of them for comfort, and after I got home I looked a few of them up.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’” (Luke 12:22-26, NIV). (Also see Matthew 6:25-34)

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

“An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up” (Proverbs 12:25, NIV).

 

I ran for just over an hour and I felt so much better, not just physically, but also mentally. It was as if someone had "slapped me upside the head" and said, "Hey....knock it off....STOP with all of the negativity-doom and gloom!" I guess it really is true that.......

So.....will I stop thinking "WHAT IF".....completely?? Of course not!! However, I'm going to REALLY TRY to balance the WHAT IFS out with more positive thoughts! Even the WHAT IFS can be more positive...Like, "WHAT IF I start REALLY listening to and believing some of the positive quotes I post on my blog and sometimes on Facebook??"  One of the quotes that keeps going through my head is not from some famous person, but from my own sweet husband! When we were planning our wedding vow renewal/30th anniversary party which would be outside, and the weather forecast called for rain and possible thunderstorms and I was panicking over everything, Ray hugged me and said, "Don't worry.....we've made it through bigger storms!".........Yes....WE HAVE and we will continue weathering the storms together!!

So when I start with the negative thoughts, I will try to run,walk or workout in some way, but I will also remember that I have other resources.....I have my husband, my family, my friends, my GOD.....Yep....I am BLESSED!!